Sleeping With A Friend
by Neelie2009
Summary: My spin on how Isobel and Richard should get together. I am always intrigued by her caution and fear of a relationship and his total admiration of her. Something has got to give! If not, then at least it can in my world. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: I own nothing, etc, etc. I started reading Downton stories after season 4 ended and I was left wanted more! I ship both Carson/Hughes and Richard/Isobel but this is a Richobel story. Thank you for all that have submitted stories to this site, I have enjoyed many. If you leave a review I will make sure I return the favor! If you are a reader and not a writer, your thoughts are greatly appreciated as well. FYI – I have no Beta and I am not a writer so please excuse the errors.**

**Prologue**

Isobel sat at her dressing table staring at her reflection trying to discern how she got herself into this convoluted situation. She had to try on each dress that she was packing in her trunk to ensure that it covered the almost faded love bite at the base of her neck. The trunk was being packed for a trip to London as Isobel was to be Lord Merton's guest at the wedding celebration of his son. The love bite was left by a gentleman that was not Lord Merton, hence the need to keep it well hidden.

She unbutton her blouse to take a closer look at the faded evidence of her momentary lapse in judgment, at least that is what she was referring to the incident, because she could not come to grips with the fact that she had a night of unbridled passion with the one person in Downton that she considered the dearest of friends.

Her behavior was inexcusable. She knew he had feelings for her but she couldn't return those sentiments. She had the highest respect for him and treasured the time they spent together but the one thing she vowed after the death of her husband twenty years hence, was to stay true to his memory. There was no room left in her heart for romantic love. Now, because of her actions, she would most likely lose the only other person in Downton, besides her grandson, that made it home. Well, she supposed, it is what she deserved after sleeping with Dr. Richard Clarkson.


	2. Chapter 2

**Five days earlier**

Isobel closed the door, watching Lord Merton's back as he descended her walkway. He had come by to personally invite her to attend his son Larry's wedding the following weekend. Isobel was at first confused, since she had already accepted the written invitation that had arrived months ago. She was planning on traveling to London with the Crawleys, and was to be a guest at Robert's London home for the weekend festivities.

She was not surprised when he called, he seemed to be finding any excuse to call on her these days, but she was uttered stunned when he said "I would very much hope that you would do me the honor of being my personal guest. That is, to stand at my side throughout the ceremony and the wedding festivities. I cherish your company and I am not sure I can stomach the whole affair without someone who understands me quite like you do, at my at my side"

It is really what Isobel deserved. She should have been more direct with Lord Merton before it had gotten to this point. Ever since she lost Mathew she had suffered from bouts of loneliness and while she didn't want a relationship with Lord Merton she did find his company cheered her up some. However, as she discovered he had certain intentions for their future, she tried to make her lack of interest apparent but she had mellowed in her directness of late and clearly Lord Merton was not picking up on her subtle hints.

This brought her mind back to the awkward conversation she had with the only other man to pursue her since the passing of her husband. She managed to handle that much better, putting a stop to it while it was still in its infancy and therefore, didn't affect the wonderful relationship she had with the good Doctor.

Thinking of Richard Clarkson made her conscious of the fact that as Lord Merton's special guest, she would need to leave for London earlier than originally planned and would miss her visit with Mrs. Pegg. Dr Clarkson had introduced them a year prior and Isobel had ever since kept up with the Pegg family. She had few people left to nurture and the Pegg's were very grateful for her attention.

She knew Dr. Clarkson always included the Peggs on his weekly house calls so she decided to stop by the hospital to ask him to inform Mrs. Pegg of the change in her situation.

XXXXX

Richard Clarkson was sitting in his office when a soft knock was heard. He said enter, expecting one of the nurses, but when he saw which nurse had entered his office he couldn't hide the smile on his face. "Mrs. Crawley, is everything ok" he asked.

"Oh, yes, thank you, I was just wondering if you could pass a message on to Mrs. Pegg for me tomorrow"

"Certainly" he said.

It wasn't until that moment that Isobel realized that she would have to explain to Dr. Clarkson that the reason she had to cancel her visit with Mrs. Pegg was because of the special invitation from Lord Merton. While she knew she had no romantic interest in Lord Merton, she was well aware that there was a growing suspicion among the Crawley family and for the matter, Downton village, that there was much more to their relationship.

As she explained the situation, Richard had trouble hiding the fact that he was not pleased. He had always hung on to the hope that should Isobel rethink her choice of marrying again, that he would be top of her list. However, the last six months had made it harder and harder for him to hold on to that fact.

Richard considered himself a passive sort of man that would, for the most part, not rock the boat but there was something about Isobel Crawley that brought out the passionate side in him and for once he decided that he was not going to quietly step aside for Lord Merton. If he could woo her with invitations that were hard to decline, then he could too.

"When you were a nurse in Manchester, did you ever go on house calls?" he asked

"No" she replied "Reginald always handled them himself, why do you ask?"

"Well, I could use a good nurse with me this week and things are quite busy at the hospital. Mrs. Watson's baby is due any day now so I need to travel to the outskirts of town. It is quite beautiful country, I thought you might like the excursion and I would greatly appreciate you help"

Isobel immediately perked up. Richard knew her well, Isobel cared deeply about helping those less fortune then she and she was always up for an adventure. "I'd be delighted" she responded.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you Daimhin, Lavender and Hay, fancatt, and Lady Andith! I appreciate that you took time to leave a note.

Richard arrived at Isobel's doorstep the next morning. Isobel looked lovely as ever, she was in a cream colored skirt and jacket with a scoop-neck blouse. Richard had to remind himself not to stare at the hollow or her collarbone, he found he was quite fond of Isobel's neck.

They exchanged pleasantries and headed out the door. They spent most of the morning calling on houses just outside the village as they made their pilgrimage to the outskirts of town. Isobel felt refreshed and alive, she was employed with the things she loved most in the world. Being of use as a nurse and taking a pleasant stroll with intelligent and friendly company.

During the moments of quiet she found herself contemplating what her last ten plus years of her life would have been like in Downton if Dr. Clarkson was not a part of it. She found few men in the world that would treat her as an intellectual equal, some men would pretend that they did and she did give them a little credit for trying, but Dr. Clarkson really felt it.

The conversation moved from medicine to baby George and Isobel was so animated in her descriptions of his latest milestone that she missed a step on the path and started to fall when Dr. Clarkson caught her by the waist with his two hands. For a moment, she had trouble finding her legs again, embarrassed about resting her entire body weight on him. "It is okay, I've got you" he said as he tightened his grip on her waist.

It had been a long time since Isobel had a man's hands on her in that intimate a way that she felt her cheeks get warm despite the fact that there wasn't a soul around on the path to see them. As she straightened up he removed his hands and she turned to him saying "thank you Dr. Clarkson."

Richard could sense her embarrassment but he could not resist taking the opportunity to say "after that, perhaps you should call me Richard." That both smiled and laughed at that. "Well Richard, thank you!" she replied as she continued to smile. "You are welcome Isobel" he said. It felt so good to say her name out loud, for years she was always Mrs. Crawley but in his head, she was always Isobel.

Just before lunch they had made it to the Pegg's house, here Isobel was going to break for a visit while Richard walked on to the Watsons. Usually he had his bicycle with him but today it would be about a 20-30 minute walk. That would leave a good hour for Isobel to spend with Mrs. Pegg while he waited on Mrs. Watson.

As Richard walked on his mind was filled with thoughts of Isobel. After that fateful day at the Ripon fair two years ago, he tried very hard not to think of Isobel as anything more than a dear friend. She made sure she was clear on her feelings about remarriage. What he had trouble getting his mind around was why she seemed to allow Lord Merton to continue his advances if she truly was not interested in marrying again. He was left to assume that perhaps she just didn't want to marry him.

For over a decade they have been friends, not always agreeing on matters and neither of them afraid to express that, but at the end of the day, they were always on the best of terms. He was clearly attracted to Isobel, there were times when he had to force himself to think of other things when she was working side-by-side with him. It was hard to stay composed sometimes when she became quite compassionate over one issue or another. As he approached the Watson's house the professional in him switched into Dr. Clarkson and put his thoughts of Isobel aside, for now.

XXXXX

Isobel enjoyed a nice luncheon with Mrs. Pegg but was getting a little concerned about the good Doctor when she noticed outside the window a large black cloud that looked on the verge of erupting. He had been gone about an hour and should be back soon, unless Mrs. Watson had gone into labor.

Just as she was about to say as much to Mrs. Pegg, the heavens erupted and the rain came pouring down "I hope Dr. Clarkson rides out the storm at the Watson's or else he will be a drowned rat in this storm" Mrs. Pegg announced.

They continued with idle chat but Isobel kept checking the window every minute to look out for Dr. Clarkson. After about 10 minutes she spotted him jogging up the path and looking much worse than a drown rat.

"Here he comes" she announced, "Oh my, he looks quite worse than a drowned rat!"

Richard walked in the door and was dripping from all angles. He shook from the cold as Mrs. Pegg scampered off to grab some dry clothes for him. She returned with a pair of her husband's pajamas and escorted him to the spare bedroom in the back to change and lay out his clothes to dry by the fire.

Isobel followed and threw a few more logs on the fire to warm up the room. Richard began to try and undo his tie but his fingers were quite wet and frozen from the cold rain and after the second failed attempt Isobel said "just let me do that, you need to get you out of those clothes before you freeze to death"

Richard was pretty confident he was not on the verge of freezing to death but he also wasn't dumb enough to stop the women he fanaticized about from partially undressing him. As Isobel worked on the tie, Richard gazed at her in the most intimate a fashion that didn't go unnoticed by Mrs. Pegg. Mrs. Pegg quietly slipped out and shut the door behind her.

Isobel worked quietly on his tie but she was cognoscente of the intimacy of the act. While it was still daylight, the dark cloud had left the fire as the only light source in the room. They were only inches apart and Isobel could feel his intense stare as she removed his tie.

When he didn't proceed with unbuttoning his shirt, Isobel simply continued in her actions. She justified her behavior immediately to herself, she was a nurse after all and it wasn't healthy for him to stay in his soaking wet clothing.

The buttons required a lot more of her attention and she could hear his heart and his breathing quicken as she made her way through the first two buttons. He had an undershirt on underneath, but that was just as soaked and was sticking to his chest. She tried to stay focused but as she finished the third button she could see the entire impression of his nipples.

She had seen many a half-naked man in her years as a nurse, especially during the war years, but never someone she was this intimately acquainted with. Nor someone whom she knew had feelings for her.

She had made it down to the last button and still she had not looked up into his eyes. She knew he was waiting for her to look at him but she simply couldn't do it. The sexual energy in the room was palpable.

She had been holding on to his shirt tails but eventually she dropped them. When he made no move to shrug off the shirt she slowly lifted her eyes to him. Before she could make complete eye contact with him his lips descended on hers in a chaste kiss. He pulled away quickly, waiting her reaction.

Isobel wasn't sure how to react. One part of her said that this wasn't the path she was supposed to take but yet she felt rooted to the spot. She wanted to be there. She wanted to keep removing his clothes. She wanted to see the man underneath the shirt. And truth be told, she wanted him to kiss her again.

Richard couldn't believe what just happened. He let the moment get the best of him and he gave into his desire to feel her lips on his. He didn't have the courage to take it any further without a clear sign from Isobel. She still hadn't made eye contact with him but instead she grabbed the opening of his shirt and pulled them down his arms to start removing his shirt.

Richard could feel the blood running through his veins and rushing to a particular part of his body. As she removed the shirt past his fingers her arms were essentially encircling him. She finally looked up at him and she had desire written all over her face. Still he waited, he needed her to make the next more.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: Thank you for all who have taken the time to review, it means a lot to me! SMUT warning...**

Isobel, his darling Isobel, never one to shy away from taking command of a situation was becoming shy and inverted in intimacy. Richard wasn't about to let her become a passive player in this, if this was going to progress any further, he needed to know that she was all in.

He maintained eye contact but he lifted up his hands in the air and she instinctively grabbed the hem of his undershirt and lifted it over his head. Her eyes were immediately drawn to his chest and before she had time to think about it, she was running both her hands up his chest from his flat belly to his nipples., letting his chest hair run through her fingertips.

When her hands reached his shoulders he could no longer restrain himself and his lips found hers in an open mouth kiss. He wrapped his hands around her delicate waist as they both deepened the kiss. He then brought his hand to the back of her neck to support her as he passionately drove his tongue into her mouth. She groaned so loudly that he knew he had awoken the fervent women inside.

Isobel brought her hands to his wet hair and had a tight grip. It was as if she needed the support to keep from falling. They kissed passionately for a few more minutes before Richard moved his lips to her neck and found the place in the hollow of her neck that he always found so attractive. He grabbed the skin with his mouth and sucked hard on her neck. She let out a breathy "Oh Richard" in a soft moan in his ear.

He stepped back to look at her face and her eyes were wide and wanting. She looked as much affected by situation as he was. He was trying to find the courage to say "I love you" to her. Instead, he let his fingers talk for him. He traced her lips with his fingertips then he moved his fingertips to her chin, down her neck, and he then traced the hem line of her blouse.

Isobel responded by reaching between them and running her palm down the length of his arousal, making a clear statement that she wanted to take this further.

"Isobel…are you sure?" he softly asked. She continued to stroke him as she closed the distance between then saying "No, I'm not sure, but I am not turning back now"

It had been about two decades since Isobel had felt the pleasure of a man, she didn't realize how desperately she missed it. She didn't think she would ever be comfortable enough with another man the way she had been with Reginald but that wasn't the case with Richard. On top of being comfortable, she was surprised to realize that she wanted Richard desperately.

Richard grabbed her hand and led her to the small bed in the room. Before Isobel sat down on the bed, she reached behind her and undid the fastening of her skirt. Richard then assisted her with her top and she stood before him in a very thin slip.

She brought her hands to his trousers and helped him out of his remaining clothes. Isobel was overwhelmed with his physique. He was thin and fit and had an impressive arousal. She reached out to run her hands over his chest and around his back, pulling him to her.

As the space between them closed, Richard reached down and grabbed the hem of her slip. He slowly maneuvered her slip around her waist then Isobel raised her arms so he could take it over her head. They now stood completely naked before one another.

Richard backed her onto the bed and then he lay on his side to avoid crushing her under his weight. He wanted to ravish her from head to toe but he wasn't sure where to start so he let their lips find each other. The kiss was now nervous anticipation as they both had a few minutes to contemplate what was about to happen between them. It was a slow, tentative, gentle kiss.

Isobel could feel the butterflies start deep in her belly and then a tingling sensation spread throughout her pelvis area. She couldn't stop herself from pushing her hips into his arousal. Richard responded by deepened his kiss. He worked his hand from her neck to her shoulder, then down her side, and finally up to her right breast where he massaged it with his entire hand before pinching her nipple lightly between his fingers.

Isobel took a sharp intake of breathe and her hips reacted again, this time of their own volition. Richard propped himself on his elbows over her as he prepared to enter her but she put her hand on his chest saying "I haven't done this in about 20 years, so please go slow"

Richard nodded his head but couldn't find any words, being completely overcome with the vulnerability she was showing to him. It was a softer side that he rarely got to see. He would be as gentle as possible but since this was the furthest he had ever been with a woman, he didn't have any experience go on.

He brought his hand from her breast to her upper thighs and slowly found her opening with his fingers. As a doctor he had delivered many babies and was well acquainted with the female anatomy but this experience was completely different. She was warm and wet and waiting for him.

He penetrated her slowly and she gripped his back with her nails and he entered her completely. She lifted her hips off the bed to meet him and he couldn't control the moan that came out of his mouth. They seemed to be cognoscente of the fact that Mrs. Pegg was in the next room because they both fought hard to keep silent.

He slowly pulled in and out of her as they stared into each other's eyes. It was romantic and sensual as opposed to passionate and aggressive. When he pumped into her again Isobel instinctively closed her eyes and Richard brought his lips to his favorite spot on her neck. Without much forethought, he then brought his lips to her ear saying "I love you my darling Isobel"

Isobel's eyes shot open and she stared at the ceiling. She was thankful that Richard still had his face buried in her shoulder so that he couldn't see her reaction. She felt afraid suddenly.

The thought was quickly suppressed when Richard moved his mouth to her breast and her eyes instinctively closed again. His touches made her feel alive. He turned them to their sides and with his hand on her hips he flipped them so she was on top. He wasn't sure he could last much longer and he wanted her to control the momentum.

Her body took on a mind of its own. She grabbed the head board of the bed to keep from falling over. In all her years with Reginald, she rarely got the opportunity of being on top and it took her by surprise how quickly she came. She drove her mouth into his to keep from crying out. As she rode out her orgasm her flipped her on to her back and gave her two quick thrusts, quickly catching up with her as his organism caught the tail end of hers.

Their lips broke part, and then they took a few moments to catch their breath. He rolled on to his side to allow her some space and Isobel immediately sat up announcing "I'd better get back to Mrs. Pegg, before she comes in looking for me"

Richard spent about 10 minutes in the room by himself, walking around in pajama bottoms while he dried his clothing as best he could next to the fire. He needed to talk to Isobel, she dressed and left the room with no more than an "I see you soon."

When he finally got his still damp clothing on in a respectable fashion he walked through the door into Mrs. Pegg's living room. "Thank you very much for the pajamas" he said as he handed the folded pair back to Mrs. Pegg. "Where is Isobel?"

Mrs. Pegg looked up in surprise, "She left and said you needed her to get back to the hospital to check on a patient, did you not say that?"

Richard quickly covered his shock with "Oh, yes, I just didn't realize she left that quickly?" He thanked Mrs. Pegg a few more times, he had trouble recalling what he did or did not say to her, then he used Isobel's excuse of needing to get back to the hospital and he quickly found himself walking a quite a clip back to Downton village.

He didn't' see Isobel anywhere in his travels and he had a moment of indecision of where to go next. Finally he resolved on heading home to contemplate the very strange ending to his day.


	5. Chapter 5

Five days! It had been 5 days and still he had no interaction with Isobel. She was supposed to cover a shift at the hospital yesterday but she sent a note to Nurse Smith explaining that due to her impending trip to London, she needed to spend the day packing. It was rather a poor excuse but the Nurses didn't mind. Isobel did more than her share of the work around the hospital.

He desperately wanted to seek her out but he didn't want to pressure her. He knew she was leaving for London later that day and he couldn't let another week go by without having any idea of where they stood. Also, she was going to London to spend the week with Lord Merton, and he was VERY uncomfortable about that.

Finally he resorted to a letter. He spent about three hours and multiple whiskeys in the wee hours of the previous evening composing the letter to Isobel and was now trying to figure out the best way to get it into her hands before she boarded the train for London. As he approached her cottage, Lord Grantham's chauffeur was lining up her luggage next to the boot of the car. When the chauffeur went inside to grab the remaining suitcase, Richard made a quick decision.

He opened her trunk and saw a most elegant dress lying on top. Clearly this was what she planned to wear at the wedding. He laid the note on top, shut the case, and made his way quickly down the path in the opposite direction of the train station.

XXXX

Isobel had finally made it to Lord Grantham's home later that evening and she was exhausted. The servants lead her straight to the dining room for a late super while they brought her things to her room. She ate quickly and headed to her room to relax as tomorrow she would meet Lord Merton after breakfast and accompany him to the church for the wedding rehearsal.

When she got to her room, the house maid had just finished unpacking. "Mrs Crawely" she began, "I found a letter in your trunk, it must have fallen in while you were packing"

Isobel looked at the letter as the maid handed it over and was a mixture of surprise and shock. That was until she recognized the elegant handwriting on the front of the letter. She grasped at the letter with both hands, startling the maid with her forcefulness. She recovered quickly saying "Oh dear, thank you, I thought I had lost it".

The maid excused herself and the door was barely closed when Isobel ripped open the letter. Before she started reading she pressed it to her chest in fear. What would he say? What did she want him to say? Judging by the size of the letter, she felt many of her questions would soon be answered so she finally sat down on her bed and held the letter before her.

_My dearest Isobel,_

_I am hoping that you can help me with a slight problem I am having. I seem to have misplaced something, well actually someone, and since this person is very dear to me, I was hoping that while you were in London you could assist me in located this person. Please be on the lookout for the following woman._

_First, she is the bravest woman I know. She has faced many challenges in her life and has faced them head on. I think she would stand up to the King himself, if she felt that he was not in the right. Lately, however, she seems to have lost her fortitude, and I pray that she continues to be brave as the future is uncertain, but the one certainty I know, is that I will always be there for her in whatever capacity she wishes._

_She is also an extremely honest person. It is the trait I love and fear in her. She will always tell me exactly how she feels, even if they are not always the words I want to hear. Lately, however, she seems to keep her true thoughts and feelings from me and I want her to know that even if she feels that what she has to say will hurt me, I will always honor and respect her opinion. _

_She is also compassionate. She will do whatever needs to be done to help those in need, especially those less fortunate than herself. Her heart has room for so much love yet for some reason, she is fearful of letting herself be loved. I want her to be brave and honest with herself and ask herself why she will not let herself be loved. _

_She is also passionate, everything she does she puts her heart and soul into. She is passionate in life and she is passionate in love. I lay awake at night remembering the fire in her eyes. I miss the fire. I miss her eyes. I miss her._

_If you find her in London, please let her know that I will be here for her when she returns. I can be here as her friend, or I can be here as much more, but the one thing I can't be, is absent from her life. _

_Yours forever,_

_Richard_


	6. Chapter 6

Isobel felt a tear slip from the corner of her eye as she finished the letter. She has been acting like such a coward. This man, this amazing man that has been there for her through thick and thin, has been in pain because of her cowardly behavior. She was so ashamed.

She curled up into bed, still fully dressed, and read the letter over and over again. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to think of the look in his eyes when he took her hand and led her to the bed. She wanted to see that look in his eyes again too. She missed his eyes. She missed him.

Then her thoughts switched gears and she thought about her beloved Reginald and her dear Mathew. They would both be appalled at her behavior! She began to feel anxious and upset. She got up and changed into her night clothes as she tried to repress her guilt, her fears, and her feelings. She spent the greater part of the evening tossing and turning in bed, when she did fall asleep, she managed to keep a death grip on her letter.

The next morning Isobel was awoken by a ladies maid to let her know that she only had an hour to dress and breakfast before Lord Merton would be there to pick her up.

She tried to look pleased in front of the maid but really all she wanted was to sleep a few more hours and then take a train back to Downton. She needed to talk to Richard, she still was very unsure what to say, but she had to end her hiding. Apparently, she found the honest and brave woman he was seeking.

Isobel survived the day and tried her hardest to be cheerful and pleasant with Lord Merton but for the first time since she had met him, his company was not lifting her spirits. In fact, she found herself constantly comparing him to Richard and he came out on the losing end of that comparison.

She felt no physical attraction to Lord Merton and she purposely kept baiting him into talking about things that she knew they differed in opinion on. From politics to the role of woman in the workforce, to helping those who could not help themselves, he clearly shared more with Lord Grantham in his views on the world. While Dr. Clarkson didn't always agree with her, he did share many of her views on things.

She finally made it back to Lord Granthams and shared dinner with the entire family. Cora, Edith, and Violet all tried to insinuate that Isobel and Lord Merton would be the next happy couple, only Lady Mary seemed to leave her alone. Isobel made it a point to sit with Mary after supper.

Mary seemed to pick a quiet corner and soon Isobel realized why "Cousin Isobel, I would like to ask you a personal question if I may". "Of course dear" answered Isobel as she braced herself for another onslaught on Lord Merton questions.

Mary, however, had a much different question to ask her. "Mathew, as you know, was my whole word and I will never heal completely from his death. But, over the last few months, I feel that I can once again walk this earth as a person."

Isobel nodded to encourage Mary, she rarely opened up to anyone and Isobel was happy to help her heal. "As you know, there have been a few gentlemen who are interested in helping me with the healing process and why I am not ready yet, I want to know if I have your blessing should I feel ready"

"Mary, dear, you don't need my blessing" she said.

"Actually, I do." Mary interjected. "Mathew valued your opinion and came to you for advice on many things. I feel that if you give me your blessing, then in a way, Mathew is giving his blessing and I couldn't move on without that. I know it sounds rather silly when I say it out loud."

Isobel's eyes softened in understanding and her heart went out to Mary. Her pain was still so fresh and her love still so deep. Isobel spoke from the heart when she said "allowing yourself to love again will never take away the love that you and Mathew shared, you have my blessing now and you will in the future."

Mary shared a soft smile with Isobel then turned to welcome her grandmother as she made her way to the chair on the other side of Mary. It wasn't until Mary and Violet were in conversation that Isobel realized that she needed to start taking her own advice.

XXXXXX

Richard Clarkson stared at the clock for the fourth time this hour. He knew that the train from London was due any minute and he was anxiously awaiting its arrival. He would wait for her, even if it took days, he said his piece, now he had to wait.

The hour came and went, and the hour after that, and the next. With one final glance at the clock, he left the hospital and headed home. He justified his disappointment, of course she wouldn't come straight to the hospital, she would be tired from traveling and would want to settle in at home. He would just have to wait till tomorrow.

He was lost in thought as he walked up his drive that he didn't notice the light on in the kitchen. He opened his door, he never locked it, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Isobel sitting at his kitchen table sipping a cup of tea.

She smiled at his reaction and he smiled back. For a moment, no one said anything, until finally Richard broke the silence "How was London?"

"It was nice, I did spend a majority of my time reading" she said as she poured him a cup of tea.

"Something interesting I hope" he replied as he sat down across from her at his small table

"Very interesting, it was a request from a dear friend, and I had to read it many times to make sure I understood what he was asking"

When she didn't continue he asked "and, we you able to assist your friend?"

She looked up and him and said in all honesty "I'm so confused Richard"

He could read the pain on her face so he reached out and grabbed her hand. He ran his thumb over the back of her hand saying "just talk to me Isobel"

She started to panic, she had thought through exactly what she wanted to say on the train home but for some reason when he looked at her, she couldn't put the words together. She wanted to tell him she did care for him and she was considering more but she needed to take things slowly because she still felt a tremendous amount of guilt.

She stood up and walked her cup to his sink. She stood in front of the sink with her back to him. She could hear him sigh, he had resigned himself to the fact that she was turning him down. He walked over to her and said to her back "I apologize for everything Isobel, I am so sorry that I pressured you into something you didn't want to do. "

She whipped around at his words "you didn't pressure me Richard! I wanted to make love to you. I have never felt so alive in my life"

"Then why did you run out, what are you afraid of" he asked with more of a raised voice then he intended. His passion for her igniting his anger.

She turned around again to face the sink, she needed to get the words out and she couldn't do it while he looked in her eyes.

"I'm afraid I will fall madly in love with you and forget the man I loved so long ago, the man who was the father to my child, my only child" she said with conviction. Then she lowered her voice and barely whispered "With Mathew gone, if I love again, it is like I have erased Reginald and Mathew from my life. I can't do that to them."

Richard was stunned. He had asked for honesty and bravery and she gave it in full force. He had no words, so instead he pressed up to her back and put his hands on her biceps to steady her.

She turned into him and buried her head in his chest. He could feel his shirt dampen from her tears. He moved one arm around her back and the other he placed in her hair. He simply held her.

After a moment, he placed a kiss to her hair and spoke softly "I don't want you to forget your love for Reginald, he has helped make you who you are today, and I love the woman you have become."

He moved his arms back to her biceps and pulled her slowly off his chest. They locked eyes as he said "I have loved you from a far, for so long. Let's try this, we can do this nice and slow and if you feel that it is too much please tell me, and I will give you the space you need."

She smiled up at him saying "Does making love in Mrs. Pegg's bedroom count as a slow start?"

"No, probably not" he said smiling. "but letting me walk you home does"

XXXXXX

The End

A/N: I am preparing to take a short hiatus from Downton Abbey FF as I am in the states and I am so afraid to read spoliers for season 5. I am SO JEALOUS of all of you that will soon have your Downton fix! I am hoping to either write more chapters of this story or make a sequel that will follow their "walking out" together bc of course, that will have its ups and downs. Thank you all for reading and a super thank you to all that left a review. It really makes my day.


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